Wednesday, November 24, 2010

#24 Thankful for My Independence


The chatter in class today was all about the impending Thanksgiving Break. Augusta asked me if I was going anywhere for Thanksgiving.

“No, I’m staying right here in Kwethluk and relaxing.”

“Where are you going for Christmas?” she asked, curious.

“Hawaii.” Was my simple, one-word reply.

“To get a husband?” she asked, quite serious. This question was unexpected and threw me off of my usual rhythm for a split second.

“No. To get a tan.” Was my final response, much to the delight of the rest of the class.

You see, marriage here is very much a way of life. It’s survival. Women who aren’t married don’t eat, at least not much. The men bring home the bacon, so to speak… actually it’s caribou, moose, and a variety of fish along with an occasional porcupine, beaver, or bird of sorts. Women marry early and stay married. If they divorce or become widowed, they remarry quickly (my being divorced after 12 years is very much an anomaly here).

Domestic abuse is an everyday occurrence. I’m sure that it is partly because the woman being abused has nowhere to go. She must stay to survive. That is not to say that there are not happily married folks in the village because there absolutely are.

So, when my students find out that I have been divorced for such a long time, their mouths literally drop open in disbelief.

This afternoon, my students wanted to ask me about my hair, since I had just dyed the gray away (also an uncommon thing in the village). Kris, student, asked me, “Did you do it so that you can find a husband?” Again, utter shock on my part.

“No…,” I slowly answered, “I’ve been single for 12 years and I’m very content.”

“Was it because of alcohol? The divorce?” Kris further probed. That one floors me, too.

“On his part or mine?” I jokingly responded. The kids all laughed. Alcohol is the most common reason for divorce here. It’s also the most common reason for crime, teen pregnancy, and death.

So, yes, I’m thankful for my independence, for today at least…

#23 Thankful for This Experience


It is only befitting that at some point, I admit my thankfulness for this experience of living and teaching in the bush on Alaska’s tundra. This experience has given me  stories for my grandchildren that they will absolutely never believe, material for a book that needs to be written, insight into what’s really important to me, an appreciation for being appreciated, time to read books and learn to sew and bake bread, enough cash to take my daughters to Hawaii for Christmas, and a thankful heart for all the blessings in my life, never again to be taken for granted.

#22 Thankful for The Calendar


I’ve never been more thankful for a calendar than I am this school year. It is my window into the future. It gives me hope for the future and strengthens my confidence that I can make it through this day and mark it off. At this very moment, the calendar tells me that I have the next four days to myself. The only thing that I am scheduled to do is go to a teacher potluck tomorrow at 2pm. Otherwise, the days are all mine. The calendar also tells me that I have only 28 more days until I’ll leave for Hawaii. The calendar reminds me that on November 30th, I’ll have survived four months here and will have only five more to go (accounting for the trip to Hawaii). It measures my progress and is a constant reminder of all that is in front of me. I am thankful for the calendar.

#21 Thankful for Coffee and Tea


I have to put these two drinks in the same category because they are both warm and comforting in an equal way, at least in my book. I love to drink something warm in the morning, every morning. There’s just something about holding a warm cup and the feeling of that warm liquid soothing my body from the inside out as well as the inside in as I start my day. Even though I’m strictly a decaf drinker, something is just off about my day if I don’t start it with a cup of K-Bay Coffee (hot tea will work in a pinch).

I also love to have a cup of tea in the evening – Chamomile Lavender is my favorite. It is consoling after a long day, helps me relax, soothes my throat from all of the teacher-talk that I put it through every day, and just quiets me down for bed.

*** I just realized that I was thankful for coffee twice this month. Oh well! ***

#16, 17, 18, 19, 20 Thankful for Discount Stores, Hotels, Restaurants, Alcohol, and Hockey


These are the things which have consumed my life for the past three days. It has been a wonderful vacation in Anchorage… feels like a working vacation, but vacation nonetheless. Hold on, let me refill my Dixie-cup-sized paper-hotel-cup with a cocktail…

Okay, so we arrived in Anchorage at 10am on Thursday, grabbed the keys to the rental car, loaded our 2 Rubbermaid tubs and empty cooler (aka luggage) into a cherry-red Toyota Tercel and headed straight to Sushi-Ya for lunch, after searching for the DMV for an hour to collect a title history on my car (another blog waiting to happen). Lunch consisted of an incredibly fresh variety of salad, miso soup, rice noodles, sesame chicken, more salad, sushi rice, those little fried Chinese dumpling things, tempura shrimp and vegetables, and ahi tuna sushi. … ahhhh… heaven. (wait! I just realized that we never got our fortune cookie!)

Then, we spent the afternoon at the Dimond Mall, Sarah shopping her heart out and me carrying the bags. LOL. We made a quick run through Wal-Mart for hair dye and make-up… lots of make-up… before we headed to the hotel to check in and color our hair side by side in the bathroom – a true mother/daughter moment. We met my friend Ann (with our new hair) for 6 o’clock reservations at Orso’s – an amazing Italian restaurant in downtown Anchorage. Fried Calamari, Caprese Salad (fresh, homemade mozzarella and vine ripened tomatoes), Seafood Pasta (Alaskan Halibut, Salmon, King Crab, and shellfish) proved to confirm Orso’s incredible reputation for great food in a terrific, calming atmosphere.

After dinner, Sarah’s friend, Stephanie, and her mom, Lori, met us back at the hotel. They had driven up from Homer just for the night to spend time with us. Stephanie and Sarah went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter at the new IMAX Theatre while Lori and I enjoyed cocktails, laughter, and shared stories of our crazy lives. The girls took a cab home, but Lori and I were in bed long before they arrived. LOL.

Friday, Sarah and I were up in time to enjoy a delicious lunch of Jambalaya Pasta (for her) and Strip Steak over Blue Cheese Mashed Potatoes (for me) at the Glacier Brewhouse before heading to meet my attorney (see above mentioned “car” blog waiting to happen) at 1pm. We then headed out shopping once again.

We walked into Sullivan Arena just as the National Anthem was being sung. The UAA Seawolves Hockey team beat the St. Cloud Huskies 3-2 in sudden death overtime. It was a great game and we ate dinner (chicken tenders and fries) in our seats and also enjoyed flavored coffee and caramel apple cider. Leaving with UAA Seawolves hoodies in tow, it was a good night.

Saturday morning, we ate a leisurely breakfast in the hotel before heading out for day three of shopping – this time to Costco, where we filled two carts, packed the goods into tubs and mailed them back to Kwethluk from a nearby Post Office. Then, we headed to Wal-Mart, filled another cart and left it in the Bush Delivery department for them to pack up and mail to us. After that, we headed to the 5th Avenue Mall where Homer kids were killing time while in Anchorage for the All-State Band and Choir competitions. I got to spend a quick hour chatting with my dear friend, Amy (band director), before they left to go back to Homer. After leaving the mall, Sarah and I went to Target where I actually found a couple of pairs of jeans long enough to fit my tall frame. We were back at the hotel, exhausted and hungry, by 8 o’clock so we just ordered dinner to be delivered – gyros and Caesar salad – what a perfect way to end a busy, shopping weekend.

Sunday morning found us packing up and heading to the airport. It was a busy week, but a so-needed respite from village life. We went home rejuvenated, anti-frumped… hoping that attitude will take us to Christmas.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

#15 - Thankful for Books


Books are my escape. Patrick Taylor takes me to rural Ireland in the 1960’s. The brogue in his books (An Irish Country Doctor, An Irish Country Village, and An Irish Country Christmas) is so strong that I can hear it in my head. It is a world away from my little village on the Tundra and I can bring it right into my living room with the turn of a page.

Right now, I’m reading Ballad of the Northland by Jason Barron. I think it’s a self-published book. I know it just came out this fall and I ordered it straight from the author in Montana. It’s a beautifully heart-wrenching story of a boy growing up in bush Alaska, raised on the brink of starvation. An orphan living with relatives, his only form of transportation is dogsled. It sucks me in with its stunning prose and then slaps me with its horrific reality. It’s just the kind of book that I hope to write one day.

I’m not sure what book will be next, but I know that as we head in to Anchorage tomorrow, Sarah and I are looking forward to spending time in several different bookstores, stocking up for the winter.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Getting Caught up on My Thankful List

#10 – Thankful for Candles
My house is very well insulated and when it’s zero degrees outside, we can’t really open the windows to air the house out. Sometimes, the lingering scent of dinner from the night before makes me eager to light a candle. Soon, my house smells like a bakery or a spice shop and all is well with the world again.

#11 – Thankful for Coffee
I love coffee, even though all I drink is decaf. I love the smell of it, the warmth of it, the creamy sweetness of it – you see, I usually have a little coffee with my milk and sugar. There’s just something comforting about holding a warm mug of coffee and slowly sipping it away.

#12 – Thankful for Vicky
I have had very few good friends in my life and Vicky ranks right up there. We met through myspace – weird, I know – because we were both fans of the boys on the Deadliest Catch and she just added me as a friend one day. We started chatting and she has come to visit me twice. We have an incredibly close friendship, like sisters. She is my number one go-to person when I really need a care package NOW! She sends medicine to me, ingredients to make bread, even her own DVDs so that I have something to watch. I love Vicky and don’t know how I would have survived the past couple of years without her.

#13 – Thankful for Reggie
Our little kitty drives me crazy. He chews up electrical chords, drags socks all over the house, teases my dog incessantly, and leaves his cat hair everywhere. But, he brings us so much joy and laughter. It’s comforting just to pick him up and rub his thick, soft fur. He is incredibly good natured, letting the dog use him for a chew toy and sharing a water bowl with her. It’s loads of fun to watch him play with a ball or a toy mouse or even the bubbles from the kitchen sink.

#14 – Thankful for Chocolate Chips
They have got to be one of the most versatile foods in the world. I put them in cookies, dessert bars, and muffins. Heck, I even use them to make Chocolate Croissants. They add a little “hmmm” to a pot of chili and even serve as a sweet snack in a pinch, all by themselves.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Thank you for The Vampire Diaries

I think Sarah and I watched eight episodes yesterday. We borrowed the first season on DVD from a fellow teacher and it sucked us in immediately. Since we have no TV channels, finding a series that we love on DVD is a goldmine. We will finish Season One tonight and then start catching up on Season Two on the internet.

It provides an escape like none other. Yes, I’m thankful for The Vampire Diaries. Meanwhile, I patiently await the entire series of The Love Boat and Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, that are being shipped to me at this very minute. We watch movies like nobody’s business. I guess I’m really just thankful for the whole DVD idea and putting TV shows on DVD. It makes us feel a little closer to normal.

Running Water

November 7, 2010 - 30 days of Thanks entry...


As much as I hear myself complain about the day to day insanity here, it does make me thankful for the little things. For example, I really miss having a dishwasher and never want to live without one again. But, I am SO grateful to have running water. A lot of the homes in the village do not have running water. Those people have to come to the school or go to friends’ houses to take a shower – most just use the steam house as a bath. I could never get used to that – just sweat, soap up, wipe it off, and call it good. Folks who raise, and race, dogs here have to pack water up from the river for their dogs every day. Many of the local Yupik teachers (all of the white teachers live in teacher housing with complete facilities) even bring their laundry to the school to do it while they are at work or on the weekends. If they don’t have running water, do they have an outhouse?... you might be wondering. Sorry folks, no outhouses on the tundra – permafrost keeps one from being able to dig a hole deep enough and those subzero temps make one completely impractical October through April. Honeybuckets are plentiful out here. It’s basically just a 10 gallon bucket lined with a plastic bag (maybe) and with a toilet seat rigged on top (if you have a deluxe model). Those honeybuckets are dumped into a receptacle somewhere. I’m not sure where in Kwethluk. I’m thankful that I have a good, old fashioned, flush toilet. I’m pretty sure Honeybucket is an oxymoron…

Yes, I’m thankful for running water, clean running water even. I have a washer and dryer in the house and a full bathroom. Even if the shower is way too hot and I have to brush my teeth with warm water every day, at least I have access to that water with the turn of a faucet.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

I'm thankful for snow...


November 6, 2010 – Snow
I’m thankful for snow. Winter is my favorite season. The snow makes everything look fresh and new and cozy. It covers up the trash on the ground in my village. It covers up Nali’s anaq (Yupik for poop) which is nice for now, because I don’t have to clean it up, but it will be a real mess next spring when the snow melts. Sorry, I digress.

I love to ski. I love to watch Nali bound through the snow – winter is also her favorite season (and Sarah’s). I love to ride snowmobiles (called snowmachines and snogos in Alaska, depending on what region you are in). Snow makes me smile.

As a side note, since I started writing this, the fog has rolled in and the snow has begun falling in earnest. I can see the flag flying hard in the wind as I sit in my workshop in Bethel (it’s lunchtime) and pray for the weather to clear so that we can get home tonight. At this very moment, snow is not my best friend. The weather folks call it "freezing fog." Visibility is currently at 1/2 mile. It has to be 2 miles for us to go home…

30 Days of Thanks


This is a great idea that I've seen in other blogs, so I had to do a little catching up first, but from here on, you should see a blog entry of Thanks every day for the rest of November. What a terrific way to stay grounded and grateful!

November 1 – My family.
I almost cheated here and thought about writing about each family member on a different day, but then decided to go ahead and challenge myself. After all, that’s what the 30 days of thanks is for, right? However, I will talk about each that I am thankful for, individually.
I am thankful for my daughters (I dare not list one before the other). They are the light of my life and the reason I get out of bed each morning. I am so proud of them and the young women they are becoming. I am so amazed at their sense of humor, intelligence, insight, and capacity for love. They have repeatedly forgiven me for my mistakes and loved me for who I am.

I am thankful for my dad. His patience and unwavering love have pulled me through many a dark time in my life. He believes in me and is proud of me. Our daily phone calls are a habit that I never want to break. Four thousand miles melt away every day as we talk about the weather, what we’re making for dinner, how crazy our family is, and how terrific his granddaughters are. My dad is the laughter in my life; he makes me smile every day.

Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that I really have a sister. Holly and I met each other for the first time 14 years ago. Wow, has it really been that long? She is such an incredibly “good” person. There’s just not a better word for it. She’s just good. She’s empathetic in a way that I’ve never known another human being to be. She is the perfect older sister – calm, grounded, married (LOL). When things seem to spiral out of control in my life, she brings me back in line, gently, with laughter and love. She is my rock. Her husband, sons, and daughter are a colorful extension of her and I’m thankful for them, as well.

I have other relatives, but no one else who feels like “family.” My family is small. My family is spread out, geographically (daughter in Wisconsin, dad in South Carolina, sister in Washington). Most of all, my family is MY family and I’m so thankful for them all! My family is my light, my laughter, and my rock.

November 2 – My Dog
When I was a kid, we always had pets, but they were pets that my parents brought home and they were just playmates for me. I never got terribly attached… and we never had them for long. For example, my dad brought home a Golden Lab when I was young (5ish). His brother’s dog had pups and Libby was one of them. The problem was that we lived in a subdivision in a suburb of St. Louis – no room for a dog of that size to run. Once she grew up (about a year old), dad gave her away to the local Duck’s Unlimited club.  Then, my parents gave me a Miniature Schnauzer, Gretel, for Christmas when I was 7, but my mother gave her away when we moved to Wisconsin (I was 9). After we moved to Wisconsin, my stepdad (who was a Deputy Sheriff) brought home a German Shepherd that he trained as a police dog. Birch was a terrific family dog, but was trained to attack visitors (including my best friend, Debbie – that’s another story).  When Rich, stepdad, died of cancer 2 years after getting the dog, the dog went to another police officer. So, you get the picture – I never really made a connection with any pets we had when I was growing up.

As an adult, I’ve always had wanderlust and liked to get up and go at a moment’s notice. Because of this, I felt that my home wouldn’t be conducive to raising a dog. So, I  never had a dog as an adult… until Nali.

When we moved to Homer, I felt like I was finally “home” and I felt settled enough to finally commit to being a dog owner. I wanted an Alaskan dog, so I knew it had to be at least part Husky, and had to be a large dog. That, and I knew that I didn’t want a Lab – too hyper. January 4, 2009, we went to the Homer shelter, but they only had a couple of Husky Lab pups. No good. I called the Kenai Shelter (90 miles away) and they had a litter of three Husky Shepherd pups. Perfect, I though! I knew Shepherds were smart and easily trained. I filled the car with gas and we headed to Kenai. Of the three little puppies, there were two girls and one boy. I told Sarah to pick a girl (this was supposed to be her dog – she’s the one who really talked me into the whole “getting a dog” scenario in the first place).  The girls looked very similar except that one had blue eyes and one had brown eyes. The 8-week-old blue-eyed baby girl came home with us that day. She had a swollen belly filled with worms and shivered out of fear as much as the January cold, but those blue eyes…

That was it. She had my heart. After a round of worm medicine, plenty of Puppy Chow, and even more love, she became my third child. She was a wild hellion until she was about 6 months old, but after that she settled down, becoming the well-trained, doting dog that I’d always dreamed of. I was 41 years old and a first time dog owner.

Now, two years later, I can’t imagine my life without her. She follows me everywhere, circles me when strangers get close, and sleeps on her pillow in my room every night, right by the door. She is my best friend, my fiercest protector, and my third daughter (that palm reader in New Orleans was right!). I am thankful for my Nali.

November 3, 2010 – Ann Shuda
Even though the date on this is November 3rd, I’m still catching up on my 30 days of Thanks and I’m writing this on November 5th.  Last night and tonight, I had dinner with Ann. She is one of the few people in this world who really understands what I’m going through right now (living and teaching in a Yupik village). I’m so thankful to have her in Bethel. Her place is “safe” to me. It’s like when I was a kid playing tag and there was always a tree that we called “safe.” If you were touching the tree, nobody could tag you. I can feel the craziness of the world melt away as we talk about our day, last week, or our future. It’s a bubble of normalcy that I crave the moment I’m back in Kwethluk. I am thankful for Ann.

November 4, 2010 – Television
Right now, I’m sitting in my room at the Long House Hotel in Bethel, here for another district-sponsored workshop. I have the TV on and am watching “Outrageous Food” on FoodTV. I miss having television channels like nobody’s business! To be able to watch the news is such a luxury. I didn’t realize that there had been an earthquake in Indonesia, had forgotten that it was hurricane season, and hadn’t thought about the President in months. I feel like I live under a rock. There was a time when I thought I’d like to live without television, live a simpler life, get back to nature, blah blah blah. I was wrong. There is nothing noble and fulfilling about living in a void with no television to keep me informed and entertained. I remember the good ole days when I used to watch Rachel Ray create some easy, delicious dish and immediately go online to find the recipe. The next day, I was at the grocery store picking up necessary ingredients for the delectable creation that I would serve for dinner that night. No more (I already know what I’m going to be thankful for tomorrow – LOL). TV, I will never take you for granted again or wish you away or say that you are unworthy. I am thankful for television, what little I get when I’m out of the village!

November 5, 2010 – Grocery Stores
Strange, right? It’s not so strange when you live in a Yupik village in the middle of the Alaskan Tundra. Sure, Kwethluk has the Native Store, an overpriced, understocked, dirty version of a Kwik Trip. Sorry folks, but that just doesn’t count! Someone familiar with Kwethluk might argue that we also have the Sports Store (I’m not sure why it’s called that) but I don’t think a Kwik Trip with a “last chance” hardware/sporting goods store attached counts either.

I’m talking about Fred Meyer, Safeway, Brookshires (for you southerners), and Marketplace IGA (for my fellow Haywardites). Large, franchised, mopped-daily grocery stores with lighted freezer cases, fresh produce, and Hoisin Sauce.

Bethel has the AC Store and Swanson’s, which will do in a pinch. However, paying nine dollars for a gallon of milk or a container of ice cream (your average 1.75 quart container) makes it a stretch to think you're really at a normal grocery store. However, they do carry cat food, which I have to pick up tomorrow before I head back to Kwethluk, where there is no cat litter or cat food. I’m not joking, here. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - This place is too crazy to exaggerate!

So, you may be wondering, “How do you eat?” Well, I shipped A LOT of nonperishable food up here when we first moved in July. Since then, I have placed a bush order through Fred Meyer, which was mostly damaged, dented, and broken when it arrived covered in Original Ragu. I also had a meat order shipped in from Mike’s Quality Meats in Eagle River, Alaska. That was enough to last us until sometime next spring and was delivered frozen (that's a good thing) via the local puddle jumper from Bethel. I also subscribe to bi-weekly deliveries of fresh produce from Full Circle Farms in Washington state. It’s not cheap, but it’s fresh, organic and impossible to get in Kwethluk. However, even with these deliveries, we are starting to run low and I’ve already started a list for our trip to the city.

Sarah and I are headed to Anchorage in less than two weeks. We are terribly excited to have the chance to go grocery shopping at Cosco and Safeway and wherever else we can find. Thank goodness Alaska Air lets us check three bags per person when flying in the state – we’ll be going back to Kwethluk with six checked bags, two of which will be coolers filled with fresh and frozen food, and two of which will be large Rubbermaid tubs filled with nonperishables. I am thankful for grocery stores!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Hot Flash, Hot Tamale, Hot Blooded, Hot as Hell

I just stepped out of a scalding hot shower – I’m surprised I have any skin left! Seriously… apparently our water pipes have heating coils that run alongside them so that they won’t freeze in the winter. Ira, maintenance-man extraordinaire, informed me of this little detail the other day when I let him know that we didn’t have any cold water. Since the weather has cooled off – highs in the 20s- the heating coils have been turned on. We seriously do not have cold water in the house. We brush our teeth with warm water. The shower is the worst part, though.

You see, we have one of those shower faucets that’s all one piece. You turn it to the left to turn it on and the further left it goes, the hotter it gets. The only problem with that is that when there is no cold water that mixes in with the hot water, the output is nothing short of scalding. So, I compensate for this by turning the water handle just far enough to the right to ease the water pressure to a dribble without it shutting off the shower nozzle completely. That way, the blisteringly hot water is just barely tinkling on me instead of showering me to death. However, this does make rinsing soap and shampoo off quite a chore.

These heating coils keeping our pipes warm apparently don’t have a temperature gauge, only an on and off switch. So, it appears that they will now be “on” until sometime next spring… probably about the time school lets out for summer.

The good news is that my skin is now a shade of pink that it never was before. I suppose that is an improvement over the snow white, because I am constantly covered up from head to toe in an effort to keep Mr. Frostbite at bay. Maybe if I unscrew one more light bulb in my bathroom, my skin will almost have a tan hue to it when looking in the tiny bathroom mirror (the only mirror in the house). You see, there is always a silver lining…

The Joyful Journey of the King Cake

“Lassiez les bons temps rouler!” Let the good times roll! After spending eighteen years as an adult in Louisiana, from age twenty through th...