It's a Lot

It’s a lot. That’s the best response that I can come up with for what’s going on in our country right now. It’s a lot. It’s heavy. It’s frightening. It’s also stupid, just plain stupid. 

Surely this is a dream that I’ll wake up from any minute. There are no book banners. There is no Donald Trump. Our local borough assembly is made up of compassionate, open-minded representatives who love our local public libraries, believe everyone should love who they love, and aren’t afraid of Harlequin Romance novels. Parents are playing an active role in their children’s public school. Teachers are on the same pay scale as doctors and lawyers. Telephones hang on walls in kitchens. The country’s education budget is larger than the military budget. Classrooms are true melting pots with immigrants from all countries. Prisons are filled with murderers and pedophiles, not political activists and citizens without the right papers. Food banks are overflowing and no one goes to bed hungry. Healthcare is free, women control their own bodies, and men are held responsible for unwanted pregnancies. Education is free, from pre-K through PhD. Our country is powered with sustainable energy and our wildlife and wild lands are protected. Law enforcement has been greatly reduced because there is no need. Every citizen has what they need - housing, food, clean water, and education. Native Americans, Native Alaskans, and Native Hawaiians are revered for their indigenous knowledge and work side-by-side with scientists, doctors, and lawmakers.

That is the dream. This is a nightmare. It’s a lot.

How did we get here? We need to take a serious look at that question, so that when we turn this around, we never go down this road again.

I raised two strong women, both now in their 30’s. Both stand up for their beliefs against all odds. Either one of them could have easily been Renee Good, having just dropped off her son at school. I used to just be concerned because they are both public school teachers, one in middle school and one in high school, and school shootings are a real threat. Now, I have to worry that they might get gunned down in the street in a residential neighborhood because they won’t get out of their car when an armed, masked man says, “Get the fuck out of your car,” as they are attempting to make a u-turn. It’s a lot.

I have never been involved in politics. Before 2 years ago, I had never spoken at a public meeting or served on a government board. I never held a sign or marched in a demonstration, but you’d better believe if what happened to Ms. Good happened on my street, I’d be bundled 

up in this sub-zero weather, helping to barricade the streets, protecting my neighbors, and holding a sign for the first time, at almost 60 years old!

Libraries. Public libraries. Like I said, I didn’t become involved in politics until 2 years ago, when our local libraries came under the attack of misinformed book burners banners. I don’t remember a time before I could read and write. Both came naturally to me, and I’ve dedicated my life to teaching others those skills. I’ll definitely do everything in my power to protect them. I couldn’t have imagined in my wildest dreams that I’d have to fight to protect them, but here we are.

As a child, I went to the library alone. I don’t remember my mother ever going there with me and I don’t remember that she had to sign for me to get a library card. I’m pretty sure that I just walked in there and got it on my own. The first books I really remember reading were by Laura Ingalls Wilder, but I eventually moved on to V.C. Andrews and Judy Blume, controversial authors of that time. The library was my safe haven. My home life was … a lot. I rode my bike to the library and spent hours huddled on the floor in a back corner reading books and paging through magazines. Through V.C. Andrews words, I read about child abuse, incest, sexual assault, and generational trauma. Through Judy Blume’s words, I read about puberty, sexuality, religion, divorce, bullying, body image, death, and depression. These books didn’t teach me anything. I was familiar with all of the topics. That was the reason that I chose the books in the first place. What they did for me was help me not to feel so alone, so isolated, so different. Had those books been removed from the shelves before I had a chance to read them, I would be a very different person today, probably a lot more damaged because I wouldn’t have had the strength to speak out loud when I was being hurt. Yes, it’s a lot.

When I was first asked to be a part of the Friends of the Sutton Library, I thought that sounded right up my alley. The next thing I knew, they were asking me to apply for the Borough Library Board as the Sutton Representative, which I did. That’s when the shit hit the fan. At the first meeting I attended, one of the board members started talking about “curating” and “cataloging” Young Adult books in the library that she considered harmful. I immediately thought, “That’s censorship!” Seriously?! In the 21st century in America?!

Since then, my board position expired and when I reapplied, I was replaced with a local conservative in favor of book banning. As a matter of fact, over the past two years, every position that expired was replaced with a book banner. The mayor has 100% authority over who is placed on all borough boards. How crazy is that? She’s the same mayor who regularly hosts government meetings in churches and brings her prayer group to tour the borough offices. Yes! It’s a lot.

Now that the library board is stacked with book banners instead of library advocates, they have been given the responsibility to review every piece of material that our 5 public librarians want to order and decide whether they should be ordered or not. Every month, these untrained laymen and women flag books to remove from the order lists. Mostly, they flag materials from the adult fiction book and DVD genres. This is happening! It’s a lot.

Christian Nationalism. I have to laugh at that term, because these Christians are now using their authority to shoot civilians in the head while they are driving away. While they are driving away! These Christians are putting American citizens behind bars because of the color of their skin. These Christians are then lying about what’s going on, just making things up. These Christians are telling us that they know best and we should just follow along as they dismantle our education system so that the wealthy get the best education, as they raise health insurance by 300% for the poorest in our nation, as they remove books from public libraries and demand that history be rewritten so that it doesn’t place them in a bad light. This is happening! It’s a lot.

Then, these folks get upset when they are compared to Nazis. I can’t imagine a more direct comparison. I keep hoping that those in positions of authority in D.C. will stand up. I keep saying that this can’t keep going on, that eventually our legal system will step in. Folks say that change will come in November with the midterm elections. I’m not so sure that our country can last that long, 10 months. 

It feels like they are winning, but they are not. Every day, more and more Americans wake up, speak up, and stand up. Meanwhile, I’ll do what I can in my small part of the world. Next week, I’m going to Juneau with a Legislative Process class that I’m teaching. We will be talking directly to a variety of legislators, senators, representatives, and staff. I will be talking directly to a variety of legislators. It seems very timely, and I’ll be ready. 

This is the nightmare, and nightmares don’t last forever. But for now, it’s a lot.