Pink Slip

No, I wouldn't write a blog about undergarments. This pink slip has "termination of employment" written on it and was presented to me Thursday during my lunch period (I can't call it a "lunch hour" because teachers never get an hour for lunch). Just two days before, I received a perfect... and I mean, absolutely flawless... evaluation from my principal. Then, Thursday, Mrs. Callahan called me in to her office and gave me an envelope with the School Board's address on it. I knew immediately, before she could even say the words, what it meant. I have never, in my LIFE, been let go from a job. BOOM! I felt like I had been shot!

It's supposed to make me feel better that every non-tenured (I’ll be tenured the first day in August) English teacher in our district, Kenai Peninsula, got a pink slip last week. This is due to low enrollment and repurposing of schools in the Central Peninsula. Apparently, in Soldotna (80 miles up the road), there are two high schools and one is going to become more vocationally-based and the other is to become more college-prep oriented. Because of this, teachers are losing their jobs. Some of those teachers are tenured English teachers and to ensure them of continuing employment in our district, they are to have the pick of jobs – one of which is mine.

I will have to apply for my own job when the opening posts next week. I have also applied for the openings at the High School and at Flex (the alternative school). However, I’m not sure anymore that I want those jobs.

I’ve been the High School DDF coach for the past two years and the team is doing great. Yes, I do take some credit for that. I spent my Spring Break writing up a bid for Homer to host the 2011 State DDF Tournament – at the request of other coaches in the state who praise our program, here in Homer. I was supposed to turn that bid in this week, but I won’t be doing that. I will not place a bid to host a tournament when I don’t even know if I’ll have a job. I also started a Middle School DDF program this year and the kids absolutely love it. Disappointments abound and they are not just my own.

Veteran teachers tell me not to worry, that they used to get pink slipped every year and then were offered their jobs back a few months later. What??!!! That does not ease my mind. Am I really expected to just sit around and wait for the district to invite me back into the fold? Well, I’m not. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure that I want to work for a “company” who treats their employees in such a way. I am ready to work on Plan B. I am actively looking for other work. Perhaps I’ll open my own catering business. Perhaps I’ll move to another district – I could make $80k/year in the bush – maybe it’s time for that. A side benefit would be that it would certainly get Sarah away from her immature boyfriend and she wouldn’t have much else to do other than concentrate on her grades. Who knows what I’ll do?! But, you can be sure of one thing, I won’t wait around for the Kenai Peninsula Borough School District to make that decision for me.

Lilla

Lilla (our first cat) walked out of our lives this week. Over Spring Break, Lilla was acting strange, sickly - she had several accidents in Sarah's room. I had the sense that she was losing control of her bladder and bowels. Her eyes just didn't look quite right when she looked at me, sleepy or something and when she'd open her mouth to meow, it was a whisper, like she just didn't have the energy.

I knew I should call the vet but I just didn't want to do anything before Sarah got home from Germany. I told Sarah about it on Wednesday, the day she got home. Then, Thursday morning, Lilla was "alive" again. She followed us all over the house that morning, even layed in the middle of the kitchen floor during breakfast, just like the old days (she hasn't done that in years).

Thursday was the day that I left school early and came home around 1:30pm (it was the day I received my pink-slip at school). When I came in the house, I was crying and went straight to my room to change clothes - Reggie (kitty) followed me into my room (Nali, my dog, was outside). I broke down and stayed in my room for 15 minutes or so just sobbing (from getting the pink slip). When I went back into the living room, I noticed the door was slightly open. I must not have closed it all the way when I came in. I had a sick, sinking feeling and I searched the house - no Lilla. I went outside and searched all around the house - no Lilla. The snow had that hard crusty top on it that a cat would be able to just walk across. I got in the car and called her while driving around the neighborhood - no Lilla.

I know in my heart what happened. She was 13 years old, her health was failing, and she knew it was her time. She had her final surge of energy Thursday morning and that afternoon, she just walked out of our life. Like in some ancient Native American cultures where elders leave the camp to die alone, Lilla went off. Call it animal instinct. Call it nature. Whatever you call it, it is peace and sadness wrapped up together.

We will miss her.

Mushing

Okay, so I'm not so good at this blog thing. Alas, it is Spring Break and I have time to catch up. In the past 5 months, since my previous blog, I have fallen in love! … with Mushing! It was definitely love at first sight. My friend, Vicki, came to visit over Christmas break and we went, along with Sarah, out to visit a Musher-friend of mine, Jillian, at Spitfire Kennels (www.spitfirekennels.com). If you are intrigued at all, you should really check out her blog (http://www.wannabemusher.blogspot.com/). I met Jillian last summer – we were both working at the winery – she to support her mushing habit, me to support my wine habit (LOL). Jillian is currently training for the 2011 Iditarod, chasing a dream. So, Vicki, Sarah and I went out to play with the dogs for a day. The dog yard was filled with excitement as Jillian and Richard (her significant other) tied up two teams of dogs for us. Jillian drove a team, with Vicki sitting in the basket and Sarah in a sled tagged to the back of hers. I got to drive my own team! Jillian even tied Nali (my pup) to the team to give her a run at being a bonafide sled dog. At first, when Nali was tied to the team, she was shaking, tail tucked between her legs. But, as soon as I yelled, “Let’s go!” she was off and running as if she’d been doing this all of her life. The drive was unbelievably awesome! Jillian went down the trail ahead of me. The feeling of being pulled by those dogs was one of freedom and kinship all rolled up together. Complete trust. Total confidence. At the halfway point, Jillian stopped and asked if I’d like to put Nali in the lead position, which we did, alongside Bully (a seasoned lead dog). Nali was such a natural. She loved pulling with the team. At one point she was looking around, sightseeing while running, and Bully turned to her with a sharp, “Yip!” and she immediately came to attention. It was as if he had said, “Hey, b-----, pay attention!” (Jillian, hooking up Nali to the team!) It was hard work, good exercise, and I had to take my coat off by the time we were back in the dog yard. And, that day, I was bitten by the love bug. I have since worked with Nali on skijoring (story to come later) and we are going to go out and help Jillian train the yearlings on a short 4-mile loop. I think Jillian was impressed that I was such a natural and she’s ready to steal Nali, that’s for sure. Now, I think about mushing every day. I went to see the start of the Iditarod last weekend in Anchorage and it pulled at my heartstrings. I could totally see myself running my own team one day. You laugh? That’s what people used to do when I talked of moving to Alaska. Now, I know dreams can come true. Go ahead and laugh. I’ll see you at the finish line! What a ride! Memories! Nali take a rest break - she wasn't in nearly as good of shape as the rest of the team! Sharing hot chocolate with Jillian outside of her and Richard's cabin.