Church

I went to church today.

That’s an extremely unusual thing for me to say. My attitude is pretty much, “Been there, done that,” when it comes to organized religion. However, this church is an important part of life for my daughter, Sarah, and my future son-in-law, Joseph. Impact is a Wesleyan Church in Lowell, Michigan. It’s a contemporary set-up with a coffee shop in the entry and rock band on stage, a hip preacher in jeans and flip-flops with a one sentence message that is sure to hit home, and a friendly, casual atmosphere – serving free tacos after next week’s service.

Every song had a message, told a story, and stirred up feelings for me, but not what the average Christian might think. I’m not a “believer,” as the saying goes. What do I believe?

I believe in the human spirit.

I believe in the human need for family.

I believe there is more to this life than we can see with our eyes.

I believe in helping one another.

I believe in cherishing our earth.

I believe that there are old souls and young souls.

I believe that anything is possible.

I don’t believe that “life” ends when we die.

I don’t believe that we are all the same.

I don’t believe that every human has a need for religion.

I don’t believe that Christianity is any more “true” than Buddhism.

I don’t believe that all humans “need” God.

Today’s service told the story of a man who spent 25 years in prison, was released and turned his life around thanks to God. Another story was of a man who walked away from a life of dealing drugs and now has a wonderful wife and family. Finally, there was the story of a woman who had an abortion and it took her years to come to terms with the guilt caused by it. All stories of human resilience. The strength of the human spirit. They were stories of people helping people.

I believe that some people need something to believe in outside of themselves, bigger than themselves. It’s just part of the human condition. There was a time in my life that I needed that, too. It doesn’t make a person better or worse for needing religion or not needing it. We’re just different. Do I sincerely believe that the man released from prison was saved by God or Jesus or whatever? Of course not. I believe that he pulled himself up by his bootstraps and got his shit together! If going to church and believing that some higher power is in control helps him, good for him. I think that’s great. I truly do. That’s his perception, so that makes it his reality.

Personally, I have no need for that outside belief. My own spirit, as weak as it is sometimes, has gotten me through so far. That’s not to say that I haven’t needed the love and support of a close family (both blood-related and not). That also doesn’t mean that I don’t believe that there is more to this life that what we can see. I’m definitely believer in an afterlife, though I’m not exactly sure what that’s about. I believe that my Dad has been with me often since his passing. He’s out there, somewhere, often close by.

I also believe that there are old souls and young souls. I believe that old souls have seen more than one life, many more, and that they are less likely to live a religion-based life. They have little need for that. They are their own anchors. Young souls, on the other hand, have more need for direction, for structured outside rules, for a higher being to guide them. They have a real need for those beliefs and so become religious zealots. Of course, there are many stages in between.

As for me, I’m an old soul. I’ve lived more than one lifetime. I have a difficult time being cornered by religious beliefs. That being said, I’ve taken catechism classes and become Catholic, been “saved” and served as a missionary for the Southern Baptist Church, sung in the Baptist Student Union ensemble in college, taught Girls in Action classes to Methodist preteens, and on and on. All of that was in this lifetime and yet I have not been a church member for over 10 years. I believe that I grew out of it. I regret none of it, though I feel a bit as though I was doing it more to fit in and make others happy, than following my own truth, listening to my own voice. Much pain and heartache has driven home the truth to me, that my own human spirit is what gets me through, along with a lot of help from others. 

When a student of mine makes straight A's, you'll never hear me say, "Praise God!"
You WILL hear me say, "Good job!"

I am happy for all those who find their way, find their truth, find their happiness, whether it be through organized religion in a big city or by being an atheist on a mountaintop. Live your truth. Be you.

This is my perception. This is my reality. I have a peace about it.