On The Air

We actually have a radio station right here in Unalakleet, Alaska! The KNSA studio sits on the edge of the Bering Sea and broadcasts in a way that most folks outside of the village might think is quite unique. Having very limited hours of local programming, the station simulcasts KDLG out of Dillingham, 350 miles away. Hearing want-ads and advertisements for a place that is a world away (16 hours by plane, because you have to go through Anchorage to get there) may seem a bit odd. 

However, the real fun starts when Open Line airs at 11am on weekdays. Open Line is a program where listeners from anywhere in the world can call an 800-number to leave a live message for someone in the KDLG/KNSA listening area. Usually, it’s locals wishing happy birthday to one another or summertime shout-outs to fisherman out on boats in the Bering Sea and Bristol Bay areas. You can listen to recorded shows at http://kdlg.org/programs/open-line-1-800-478-5354#stream/0. You have to hear it to believe it! I mean, where else can you hear “Happy Birthday” sung in Yupik by an elder, live. It’ll make you smile.

Also, radio stations out here in the bush have no specific demographic that they are targeting, no consistent genre for their music. However, they do occasionally have Oldies or Country as their theme for the morning, but when I hear rap songs interspersed with country music, it does make me cock my head in wonder. I suppose there is kind of a theme in not having a theme, right? It reminds me of every restaurant I ever ate in in Bethel (between Unalakleet and Dillingham). I kid you not, every single restaurant in Bethel serves burritos, sushi, chow mein, spaghetti, pizza, and hamburgers – no exception. You can get anything anywhere – no focus, no specialty, everything. Just like bush radio stations – it’s really sort of comical.

The 9:15am weather forecast as given by Sam “Wolfman” Towarak right here in Unalakleet, though, has to be my favorite part, just because Gregg and I make fun of him the whole time. Sam is a good guy, but just can’t seem to say anything without saying everything, if you know what I mean. It’s not enough that he plays the station identification jingle between every song, sometimes several different versions back to back – I counted 14 station I.D.’s during an hour one time, and plays Biance’, AC/DC, and Johnny Cash one right after the other, but when he gives the weather report, it’s the bomb. If you can keep up and actually tell me what the weather report is after he’s finished, you’re a better listener than me! [I’m giggling as I write this.] Just for kicks, I recorded the eight minute report yesterday and transcribed it here, just for you!

Anyway – uh – the forecast for today is. You know to, we were sss-, we had forecast this ‘un here to be a real nice day and everything, that it was going to be a time to go work on your allopin(?). There won’t be no ice on it, but there will be ice because of the blowin’ snow. It’ll form on top and, uh, so maybe you can’t go. (laughing to himself) Ca-Cause I’m, I’m sitting at home dissowing, you know?

Areas of blowing snow here today after one o’clock. It’s gonna be miserable. It’s gonna be sunny with a high near, near 29. I think it was forecast for 28 yesterday. Anyway, east winds 15 to 25 miles an hour. They increased the winds on us. No wonder. It’s blowing like east at 29, now. Ain’t gonna make it out, ain’t gonna make it out ‘ere in the country. I was supposed to blow from the south, huh? Southwest or southeast or somethin’ like that. They change it on us. Anyway, tonight, snow likely, mainly between one in the morning and four in the morning. Areas of blowing snow before one in the morning. Areas of freezing fog after one in the morning. Increasing clouds with a low around 17. Let’s see here. East winds decreasing to 5 to 15 miles an hour after midnight, but it’ll blow 15 to 25 all night. The chance of precipitation for tonight is 60% new snow. Accumulations of one inch is possible. I gotta look at the map and see what it’s, where in the world it’s come from.

Friday, uh, 50 percent chance of snow mainly before 10 in the morning. Mostly cloudy with a high near 28. South winds around 5. We don’t want it to warm up. No, no, no. We want it to stay like this. Uh. We gotta. We gotta take advantage of all that snow out there. Otherwise, uh, people are gonna be goin’ up a, ya know, uh - it’s gonna melt and stuff. Everybody wants to go cruising on the flats where there’s no – they can go anywhere with. Man, ya. When it’s like that, the little crust up on top – Man! (sigh) You. When I was fishing, we’d just leave the trail. We’d leave the trail and go up on the hillside, just goof around while we’re goin’ home. Now, me and my wife, we can’t do that (fake crying sounds). Bad back.

All right. Friday night. Scattered snow showers, mainly after 4AM. Mostly cloudy with a low around 16. So, it’s, uh, 28 and 16 on Friday. Let’s see if Saturday’s any better.

Scattered showers before, uh, snow showers before 7AM, then slight chance of snow between 7 and 10. Then, it’s mostly cloudy for the rest of the day. High near 28. So, 28’s gonna bet the mantra for the rest of the weekend. East winds around 5. Hey, there’s no wind on Saturday. That might be the day. Mostly cloudy with a low around 12 on Saturday night.

Sunday’s partly sunny with a high near 26 and a low of 12 and then Monday’s mostly cloudy with a high near 22, uh, low around 15. Tuesday’s chance of snow, mostly cloudy with high near 23, low ‘round 15 and Wednesday, uh, high near 21. So, yes. We have what we want. We wanna - we – we wanna have – we don’t want that melting weather. Uh, that, I know, people want spring but you gotta think, yeah, think ahead.

Oh, let’s look at nine o’clock conditions [it’s now 9:20] before I, uh, think ahead. Uh, Gambell, cloudy, 32 degrees. Wind direction is missing. And the winds, uh. Kotzebue. Blowing snow and fog. 20 degrees. Winds out of the east at 26 with 3 miles visibility. Nome’s mostly cloudy. 25 degrees. Winds out of the east at 17 with 8 miles visibility. Savoonga. Unknown precipitation. 31 de – whoa, there’s the 31 degrees. Southeast at – oh boy, it’s blowin’ though. Southeast. That’s the wind that we’re supposed to get. Southeast at 44, gusting to 49 with 3 miles visibility. And, Umonuckuk(?). Clear. 19 degrees. It don’t blow around here. East at 25, gust to 29. 9 miles viz. And Golovin is clear. 22 degrees. Winds out of the southeast at 17. Elim. People always say, uh, “You don’t say Elim right.” Elim. E-lim. El-im. Fair skies in Elim. 22 degrees. I’m probly the only one reads Elim weather. I don’t know. Fair skies. 22 degrees and calm and 10 miles viz over there. Koyuk. I said it right. Mostly cloudy. 24 degrees and calm. Buckland cloudy. 24 degrees. Winds out of the east at 20, gusting to 25. Boy, the wind picked up today. Noatak, snow and fog. 21 degrees. Winds out of the southeast at 15, gusting to 22 with 5 miles viz over in Napaktuk. Napaktuk. And, uh, St. Michael is clear. 24 degrees with – Hey (mumble). Blue skies over there that listen. They listen over there on Kobuk Lake, and they always wanna know the weather. “This is not Kotzebue! We’re not in Kotz!” They’re closer to Noatak than they are to Kotzebue. So, that, uh, it’s for them, those guys on Kobuk Lake. Louie Senior. I wonder he in the dog race? I don’t. Sprint race. I wonder he has sprint dogs? He has to. At his age, he’s gotta have a team. And then, Buddua, ‘course. Buddua. One of these days you’ll wanna – Hey Chuck, Chuck Shafer’s up there – Buddy’s buddy. (laughing at himself). I wonder he’s still over at, if it, over at training, uh. I don’t think I. I’m wondering if he gets it. Buddua. I wonder if you could, uh, give him a call on the, uh, VHF is it. “Do you. Do you listen to Sam? He talkin’ ‘bout you now.” And, uh, I don’t know. Those guys call every once in a while. Good morning, anyway.

St. Michael is clear. 24 degrees. Winds out of the northeast at 6. And Stebbins is sunny. 26 degrees. Winds out of the northeast at 5, gusting to 8. 10 miles and clear of there in beautiful, downtown Stebbins. Good morning, Champs. Yeah, I played that song for you guys, too. And, Shaktoolik – NO. White Mountain is mostly clear. 22 degrees. Winds outta southeast at 12, gusting to 18. Shaktoolik is clear. 22 degrees. Winds outta southeast at 16. Kaltag is clear. Zero degrees and calm. Anvik is not available. I’m too lazy to go look. I’m too la- l-. Oh, that’s right, we gotta look at the, we gotta look at the, um, where the storm is coming from. I’ma put it on so we can, so we can see (pause). See, oh, there’s a little bit in between Nome and, um, Savoonga that’s that snow. There’s fog around Nome again. Ahhhhh, let’s see here, Shageluk. (pause) Doesn’t look like Anvik’s reporting. They’re correct. Sorry, I can’t give Anvik weather. Let me check, make sure. Yep, Marshall. All right, uh, St. Mary’s. S’cuse me. Clear. 21 degrees. Winds outta the east at 20. Mountain Village. It says, “Not available,” too. Ah, let’s see here. Mountain Village is 21 degrees. Winds outta east at 20. 10 miles and clear. That was at nine-ten AM. And, uhhhhummmm, (humming). Emmonak! Mostly cloudy. 25 degrees. Winds outta the southeast at 19, gusting to 26. And, uh, those guys over there? They listen. Hey, good morning! Yeah, I’m glad you tuned in, uh, a few of ‘em. Not as many as, uh, Kotlik. Kotlik there’s four people. In, um, Emmonak, there’s two. (phone rings in background) There it goes. We listen. (he speeds up) Anchorage is clear. 20 degrees. Winds outta the north at 20, gusting (phone rings again) to 28. (he begins speed-talking) Backtomoremusichere onKNSA---- (queue “Hard Day’s Night” by the Beatles)

Thanks for making me laugh, Sam, even if I don’t have a clue what the forecast is!