Decoded Answers to the Question, “What’s it Like to Work from Home?”

 I saw this online and the answers were so far off from my life that I thought I’d do my own…

“It’s nice not having a commute.” = Sometimes I go two weeks without ever leaving our property.

“It’s super flexible.” = I can choose the recliner, kitchen table, or sewing table as my desk.

“I don’t have a manager breathing down my neck.” = I can curse and be on Facebook all I want. I can eat and drink whatever I want while working.

“I get to work in my pajamas.” = Who am I kidding? I don’t wear pajamas! Seriously, I wear leggings and oversized shirts every day - hardly ever put on shoes except to go to the outhouse, and haven’t worn a bra in 17 months!

“It’s nice and quiet.” = I get to stream whatever I want on Netflix and Amazon Prime while I work!

“It saves money on food and transportation.” = I buy way more online than I should!

“I get to set my own schedule.” = I don’t have to call in sick to have some “me” time.

“It helps to have a good routine.” = Where did I put that scrap of paper with my to-do list on it?

“It’s great!” = It’s lonely sometimes, but I can’t imagine ever having to work by someone else’s schedule again.

*********************************

Here is the original post found at https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/decoded-answers-to-the-question-whats-it-like-to-work-from-home?fbclid=IwAR1zTml5LJA0aYcxepkCwhBuvOuAs_VMRalcFmvfex_NtC32z2hDhtXo8_E
“It’s nice not having a commute.” = Sometimes I go 72 hours without stepping foot outside.

“My commute is only five steps!” = Sometimes even that seems like too many.

“It’s super flexible.” = One time I went to Wendy’s for lunch and then went back to Wendy’s 45 minutes later for a Frosty.

“I don’t have a manager breathing down my neck.” = I can sit on the toilet for half an hour and no one can stop me.

“I get to work in my pajamas.” = I’ve had a bad hair day for 285 consecutive days.

“It’s nice and quiet.” = I’m so alone I can hear the roof rats scurrying around my attic.

“It saves money on food and transportation.” = Even though there’s one 5 minutes away, I will drive 15 minutes to the third closest grocery store after work to buy a second jar of mayonnaise if it means getting out of the house.

“I’m able to get stuff done around the house.” = I can unload the dishwasher over the course of eight hours instead of all at once.

“It helps if you have a good routine.” = I don’t have a routine, but I’m sure it would help me if I did.

“It’s great! = It’s terribly lonely.