I am 48

My hair has betrayed me,

body forsaken me,

mind abandoned me.

A contagion of sorts.

Depression

chews my nails to nubs,

but not lately.

My children

Grown, lives of their own.

My Dad

is the Ghost of my present.

The Man

I cannot live without

hurts me

with his words,

but not lately.

Denali, the Great one,

My savior, my dog.

I should run her more,

rub her belly more,

teach her more,

more, more, more,

but not lately.

My students complain,

but write.

Lives on a page.

Dreams

are made there,

from the Bering Sea waves

and the rolling tundra

to the Dakota plains

and urban sprawl,

but not lately.

Yearning for solitude.

Needing companionship.

Always longing to be further

and further

from

society,

but not lately.