#24 Thankful for My Independence

The chatter in class today was all about the impending Thanksgiving Break. Augusta asked me if I was going anywhere for Thanksgiving.

“No, I’m staying right here in Kwethluk and relaxing.”

“Where are you going for Christmas?” she asked, curious.

“Hawaii.” Was my simple, one-word reply.

“To get a husband?” she asked, quite serious. This question was unexpected and threw me off of my usual rhythm for a split second.

“No. To get a tan.” Was my final response, much to the delight of the rest of the class.

You see, marriage here is very much a way of life. It’s survival. Women who aren’t married don’t eat, at least not much. The men bring home the bacon, so to speak… actually it’s caribou, moose, and a variety of fish along with an occasional porcupine, beaver, or bird of sorts. Women marry early and stay married. If they divorce or become widowed, they remarry quickly (my being divorced after 12 years is very much an anomaly here).

Domestic abuse is an everyday occurrence. I’m sure that it is partly because the woman being abused has nowhere to go. She must stay to survive. That is not to say that there are not happily married folks in the village because there absolutely are.

So, when my students find out that I have been divorced for such a long time, their mouths literally drop open in disbelief.

This afternoon, my students wanted to ask me about my hair, since I had just dyed the gray away (also an uncommon thing in the village). Kris, student, asked me, “Did you do it so that you can find a husband?” Again, utter shock on my part.

“No…,” I slowly answered, “I’ve been single for 12 years and I’m very content.”

“Was it because of alcohol? The divorce?” Kris further probed. That one floors me, too.

“On his part or mine?” I jokingly responded. The kids all laughed. Alcohol is the most common reason for divorce here. It’s also the most common reason for crime, teen pregnancy, and death.

So, yes, I’m thankful for my independence, for today at least…